Wanted to write that yesterday was a pretty perfect day. No walkabouts. We went to the Sr. Center for a painting class... Afterward, we went to the park to look for alligators.
We spent most of the day out and about. Last night we had Stouffer's lasagna and I made a homemade peach cobbler. (I know, pretty odd). He loved the cobbler, with ice cream (of course).
Twice yesterday I could tell I was "losing him" and I asked him to go to the hammocks with me. The hammock swing is my new magic potion.
Today we went to a barbershop for Jordan to get spiffy. He's having a good day.
I have plenty of housework to do...dishes, laundry, etc. The only thing is that Jordan doesn't do well with me working on anything. He isn't able to do a good job of entertaining himself. If I'm not right there I tend to lose him. I'm still thinking this through.
I have been feeling super upset with myself...it's time to do some regular cleaning (bathroom). And yesterday I looked at it and said to myself... "How can it be that I haven't done this? I don't work anymore...how is it that I can't get the basics done?" Later on, I realized I can cut myself sort of a break. I guess I do work...I just don't have an employer. I work to keep Jordan happy and healthy which takes the majority of my time.
I was feeling insecure about my ability to care for him. His walkabouts and need for stimulation felt beyond me.
But after working with him through a couple of panic attacks I've begun to think that I can give Jordan the individual and immediate attention that he needs.
It's interesting how his condition changes from day to day. Today he was not able to "see" the refrigerator and did not understand the word. I think he'll recognize it later tonight...
Some days he can shower by himself, other days not. He always wants to brush his teeth but needs me to get his brush ready. He wants deodorant but needs me to put it on for him.