Confident Persona does not equal "Extrovert"

by - January 04, 2015

Yesterday I wrote a little about personalty type...specifically my type. Of course, personalty type is more than introvert versus extrovert. The more I explore my type the more I recognize myself. If you are curious, my type is INFJ.


I strongly identify with all of the pieces of this type. The one that was "surprising" was the introvert piece. Both of my sisters are introverts. We all agree on that. But neither sister believed me when I told them I'm actually an introvert too. I'm fairly sure one of them still doubts this.

It might be hard to look at me from "outside" and say "introvert".  The main reason (I think) is my overall confidence in my ideas and decisions. What people may see is someone who is annoyingly "over the top" confident. 

I think my confidence is a reflection of the intuitive and judging traits combined. The intuitive trait relates to how I process information. Intuitives use patterns and impressions to evaluate information. It looks like using your gut for understanding. Truly it is more than just trusting your gut. But the processing stage of the understanding is very fast and hard to explain. 

When I know something it's frustrating when someone wants an explanation of "how I came to my conclusion". Because I "know" what I know I have little patience for having to convince someone else. 
Aside: This is how I react. I don't know how others react. Also, just because I am confident in what I know and get impatient with explaining, does not mean I'm actually always "right".  The theoretical me understands the benefit of exploring things with others.  
*I'm whispering under my breath..."Don't question me. Don't question me. Why would you question me?"*

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6 comments

  1. Do you think it's possible you use to be an extrovert and your personality has just changed over the years?

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    1. You know, I wondered that too. But supposedly it is really rare for this to change. What's interesting is that both of my sisters are introverts and my girlfriends from high school (that I still hang out with) are all introverts. I think that because I'm loud...with a really loud laugh I sort of stand out from the people I'm around the most. So, I just sort of thought my traits were related to extroversion. But, when I look back I realize that even though I enjoy going out with friends....I never liked to go to mixers or big parties. I think that's a clue too. :)

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  2. Hi, I'm also an INFJ! I was so happy when I discovered my type and read up on it-finally there's an explanation for my oddities! Like you, I'm often mistaken for an extrovert as I'm quite outgoing and can seem loud and confident, especially around close friends. However, as far as I understand it, introversion/extroversion has more to do with how you gain and lose energy, rather than how confident you are. Being introverted doesn't necessarily mean that we are shy or quiet, just that after socialising we need more time alone to recharge our batteries. I definitely feel that going out zaps my energy, even though I really enjoy it. Conversely, extroverts seem to gain their energy from being around others. I would also say that introverts tend to be more prone to introspection and reflection, whereas extroverts seem to focus on their surroundings and on others. Like you, I always 'know' things intuitively and it can be very frustrating when other people don't seem to see things my way. Thanks for this post, it was very interesting.

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    1. Hi Tizzy. Another INFJ! I agree with you about the energy source. I really have to have a little me time before I'm any fun for anyone else. I think that I have always carved this time out like second nature and didn't even realize how much I needed it until my routines changed and I noticed I was "off" without the me time. The intuitive "knowing" can be so cool. I mean I've never questioned it...and when I "Know" it I just do. It's like when a kid can do math in his head and just knows the answer so fast he can't explain it. (I taught math for a year and one of my students saw an equation and just knew the answer. He hated to have to back into "showing his work". Which I get.) Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

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  3. I love your ending sentence "dont question me, dont question me" LOL! I sense this every single time you give me advice and I ask for an explanation! I remember discussing this with you, Dad, and Paul while you were here for xmas and how similar you and Paul are, and Dad and I are in that way! You and Paul both hate when Dad and I ask you "why?", I think mainly because you are annoyed that we dont just trust you and take your word for it, but Dad and I are simply curious about your thought process. We have to know the ins and outs of how you go to your conclusion, not because we doubt you but because we're fascinated with how peoples minds work. But funny enough I get my stubbornness from you! Paul always says I have two responses, "no" and "why" LOL. I can see how that would be annoying but what can I say, I take after my mom and dad, Mrs. No and Mr. Why. ;)

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    1. That was such a good visit. It was fun exploring we all think. I wonder what your Personalty Type is. I'm alwas fascinated by that. I wonder how we get our personalties.

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